Frank Retief was pastor at St James Church Cape Town for 31 years, having planted the church in 1968 with his wife Beulah.  He became the Presiding Bishop of the Church of England in South Africa until he retired in 2010.  Frank remains active in ministry through preaching, teaching , pastoral work & writing, and has authored a number of books.

No Answer

Luke 18 v 1.  “Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up”.

For many believers it is a mystery why there are times when God just does not appear to hear their prayers, or to deliver them out of some great need. It can be very discouraging and spiritually frustrating when the Father who sustains the world and has promised to care for His own children, seems to bring no breakthrough for us. What is this all about?

In the bible passage alluded to today, Jesus tells a parable about a woman who needed some help against an adversary. She turned to the law, but the law let her down because the very one who should have protected her was unjust.

What did this woman do?

The answer is she persisted. The judge said “this widow keeps bothering me.” So finally he granted her request. I do not know why God does not seem to answer us immediately in our time of need. But what we all know is that our Father is not unjust, but just and caring. Listen to Jesus’ words in Luke 18 v 7. “Will He keep putting them off?” The answer is of course, no, he won’t. He will see that they get justice. Our problem is that we have the way God should answer our prayers, all worked out in our minds. But God has His own sovereign will, and according to verse 1 “We should always pray and NOT give up.” Keep trusting Him, even when there are no apparent answers from Heaven. He hears us. He is our Heavenly Father.

Prayer:

“O God my strength is exhausted. I feel discouraged and very low. Still I will trust you. You know me and you know my need. Amen”.

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• Are you feeling hopeless, discouraged, or even in despair in your walk with the LORD as a believer?
• Have you made mistakes and now have feelings of regret or shame?

You are not alone!  Of all people, the disciple and then apostle Peter can relate to your emotions and actions; he was devastated and wept bitterly after denying Jesus three times.  Yet, that was not the end of the story for Peter.  Christ forgave Peter and used him in remarkable ways as we read about the formation of and first thirty years of the Church through the book of Acts.

A friend recently sent me a devotional of encouragement based on the reality of HOPE in our lives.  The term HOPE, he reminded me, is used in the New Testament to mean “promise,” a reality of something good and assured.  Hope is not as many use the term today of just “wishful thinking.”

Pete Wilson, author of the small group resource Let Hope In (Bible Studies for Life, BSFL by Lifeway Publishing), writes that “we all have hope regardless of our past regrets and shame.”  The apostle Peter experienced HOPE as he was forgiven and restored in his relationship with the LORD.

You too can experience the promise and reality of HOPE in your life regardless of your feelings or your past choices.  If you are looking for a bible study without a video component, you may then want to try “Hope: Never Beyond Hope,” by J.I. Packer and Carolyn Nystrom.  This Christian Basic Bible Study is published by Inter Varsity Press and has sold over one million copies.  Packer and Nystrom add that “the hope of our salvation brings joy, energy, faithfulness, and a desire to be of use to God!”

Not only Peter but so many such as Martha, Samson, and more were used by God in their imperfections – so can you, no matter how bad we think you are.  Packer and Nystrom encourage their readers that “the bible was given to offer HOPE and encouragement through the testimonies of those that have gone before us.  Just as biblical characters were failed, biblical characters were redeemed.  And God wants to do the same for us.”

You are never beyond HOPE!  You have been redeemed and because of the Gospel, you can continue to be redeemed.

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 By David Murray

We’ve lost the media, we’ve lost the polls, we’ve lost the courts, we’ve lost the major parties, we’ve lost most politicians, we’ve lost the universities and colleges, we’ve lost the military, we’ve lost the workplace, and we’ve even lost many churches.

But we’ve not lost our families.

And the happy Christian family is potentially our greatest asset.

If there’s one thing that people are persuaded by, it’s happiness.

Our society has no idea how this terrible experiment with marriage and the family is going to play out in the coming years. No one can know the long-term consequences, especially for children. No supporter of gay marriage can predict the eventual impact of this massive cultural and societal revolution. It’s a fearful leap into the unknown that will result in unfathomable damage to innumerable multitudes of children (and adults). Our social services, our schools, our healthcare providers, and our criminal justice system are going to be picking up the tab for decades to come.  Read more on David Murray’s blog:

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Candice is a busy wife to Matt and mom of Noah (4) and Tyler (2 going on 21).  Candice also works part-time at our Rosebank Store of Christian Book Discounters.  In her spare time she writes her own blog & is a travel consultant.

The pressure of being a parent is immense. Moms I think especially, as our little kiddies start their lives, we carry huge burdens in terms of what people think about our kids, are we doing everything right, what would my mother have done, what do other kids think of my child? If it’s not on the good side, is that my fault?

We have a supper club that Matt and I are a part of. About 2 years ago, maybe a bit more, Matt and I went through the “Laugh Your Way To A Better Marriage” course at church with two other couples and we’ve since stayed close friends. (By the way, if you haven’t done the course and you get the opportunity to, RUN, not walk, to sign up! It’s such a great way to learn more about your husband/wife in a light, fun environment.) Anyway, us three couples meet every couple of months for a get together and a dinner which is always just an awesome time for us all to chill out and catch up. Now, we have two kids, one couple has one little boy who’s nearly a year now and the other couple are having their first baby in December. You can just imagine the amount of advice flying around that room at our last dinner! After sharing our stories and funny anecdotes and do’s and don’ts to help them deal with their impending parenthood, my good friend Sim (who’s got a little boy) turned to us girls and said “the one thing I’ve learnt since becoming a mom is that I’m no one to judge. Whatever gets you through the night and whatever makes your child a happy one, that’s what you gotta keep your eyes on. What works for me, might not work for you.” And that’s stuck with me since then.

It seems that parenthood between moms especially, is a competition. Maybe it always has been and I think that every stage of your baby’s life, comes with a different facet of competition. When you’re in the baby stage, it seems that everyone wants to know how you gave birth (and everyone has an opinion as to which one is better ~ c section or natural) and once that’s out of the way, how long you breastfed for (when I mentioned I wanted to put my second baby straight onto the bottle, I was met with looks of disdain.) Then it gets down to seeing whose baby sleeps the longest at night, when your child got teeth, when your child crawled, when your child walked, when your child talked. Parents, let me warn you ~ if you’re ever asked if your child has spent even a night in your bed, be careful at your answer. This seems to be the MOST HORRIFIC parenting mistake one can make.

Let me give you a little insight into my life as a mommy and feel free to look at the computer screen with contempt ~ this time, I won’t be able to see you 🙂

Noah is 4 years old. Yes, he still has a dummy. Ok, not all the time, but yes, when his head hits the pillow to sleep, he still wants his dummy and I’m ok with that. I understand the dummy’s reign is going to come to an end soon, but right now, yes, he still has one when he sleeps.

Tyla is 2 years old and she still has a bottle. Yip, the pukka Avent bottle, not a sippy cup, not a normal cup. Look, depending on what mood she’s in, I can get her to drink out a sippy cup and a normal cup, but when she’s looking for something to soothe her, she’ll ask for her bottle. Do I give it to her? Yes, I do.

There we go. I’ve admitted just a couple of my parenting shortfalls and there are many more, believe me (Just as a side note, Noah still doesn’t sleep through the night… How’s that for sleeping through the night before they’re one? Um, try “I’m still trying to get that right at 4 years old.”)

Now, obviously there are boundaries. Noah won’t be entering 2014 with a dummy at night and my baby girl Tyla won’t be having her bottle until she’s 4 or 5. I hear you that I could’ve gotten rid of both these things earlier. Being a mom, means putting your child’s needs before your own. That sometimes means picking the harder way to solve a problem, rather than an easier one. I’ll admit I’ve up until now, bailed out on this idea in the name of sleeping, for example. Because I don’t want to fight Tyla’s crying for an hour before she sleeps, I’ll give in and give her a bottle. I always tell myself I’ll gather the strength one day to do it and that day just never comes. It’s like putting off the inevitable. Do I think that it’s a major train smash and that I’ve failed Noah as a mother because he still sleeps with a dummy? Definitely not but a day is coming where I’m going to have to get less sleep than I am now, pucker up enough resolve and strength to fight my little boy’s tears in the name of getting Noah dummy free.

No-one’s parenting journey is the same. Before I was a mom, and a child had a dummy at 3 years old, never mind 4 years old, to go to sleep with, I would totally get the “that’s just horrendous parenting” look but now that I’ve walking this parenting path, if there’s any facet of a child that I can’t identify with because my kids aren’t the same, I just look at those parents and think “hey? They’re doing a good job. Whatever works for them and gets them through a 24 hour day, awesome.” (Now let me clarify, that anything to a child’s extreme detriment, I could never condone or justify)

Let me share something with all your moms who worry that your children aren’t keeping up, that they haven’t walked early enough, that they haven’t crawled soon enough, that they don’t sleep through the night young enough:

• YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. God gave you your specific child because He chose you to be their mommy. He didn’t think anyone else could parent that child better than you could, and that’s why you get the privilege of bringing up that baby. Don’t worry about when everyone else’s child was potty trained, when everyone else’s child could form a full sentence, when everyone else’s child got their fine motor skills mastered. As long as you’re pouring your heart and soul into loving your baby as best you can, ensuring their best interests are at heart, and relying on God to help you be the best mother you can be on a daily basis, you’re doing the best that can be done for your child.

I have this little note on my phone and I refer to it every once in a while ~ to all my mommy friends out there, and all of those who know a mommy who could use this reminder, send it on.

“Dear mom who needs to be reminded that she matters ~ this is your reminder.

Nobody could be the mom you are to your children – only you can.

Now, go back to all you’re doing – your cleaning, working, driving, nose-wiping, cooking, clothes-folding, everyday things – and hold your head up high. Motherhood matters. More than having the perfect house, the perfect body, the perfect planning schedule, THE PERFECT KIDS, the perfect anything.

You are a game changer. A life changer and that is why you matter.”

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